The start of a new life.

I met a guy (Johnathan) in Decemeber. He was in the Army and what I thought was, the man of my dreams. He was so amazing and cute. And always made me smile. We felt so comfortable around each other it was insane. I remember the first time we hung out. We just sat in his car and talked. And I had to go in, and he got out and gave me a hug. He texted me a few minutes later saying he really wanted to kiss me but was to nervous to. I thought it was way cute. We started dating. Our first date was so cute. We didn't really go on the date till later that night, but we went to walmart, walked around, and went to Waynes, a famous fast food joint here. He took my drink.. and wouldn't give it back. I went to grab it and he kissed me. The only thoughts going through my head at that point was "wow, I think my world just stopped". I didn't even care anymore about the drink. My lips locked on to his was the most amazing feeling I ever felt. To me he was the sweetest guy I could ever meet. It was like a dream come true. We spent everyday together, from the time he got off work, to about 3 in the morning. even though he had PT. I started staying the night with him.. And then the fighting began. And then the whole "this is gonna end up "happily ever after"" ended.  My period was always at the beginning of the month. And earlier February comes, no period. I just blew if off cause my period got messed up anyway in the last 2 months. I stayed the night with Johnathan on February 12th. We were supposed to spend Valentines day weekend together. But February 13th, my friend invited us to a party, I don't drink, but I wanted to go. And he didn't. So I went by myself. I told him I'd be back the next morning to spend the day with him. Well the next morning, I called, and called, and called, and called him but no answer. and then he does answer, he tells me he's in Texas with friends. My first thought was "OMG!" So I went home and once again, spent the worse holiday by myself. I noticed dark veins on my breasts. And that I was always tired and eating alot. I told my friend about the it, and he said I might be pregnant. And that was just what I needed, a kid by a jerk. I turned 18 on February 18th, and four days later, me and my friends skipped school, and went to get a pregnancy test from this one place that provides them for free. I sat and waited for her to tell me the result. I was hoping negative. But the exact words coming out of her mouth "Ah, Congradulations, Your a new mom". My heart stopped.. and I didn't know what to think. I asked her if the test was accurate and she said I could have an ultra sound if I wanted to make sure. I was 3 weeks pregnant, and the ultra sound just showed a sack. I was still not convinced I was pregnant. I texted Johnathan and told him. He asked me "did you get an abortion" and of course, I don't believe in that so no. We broke up. To make a long story short. It's August now, since March I been single and feeling like I'm suffering with depression. He's not here. I go to the appointments by myself  and do everything BY myself. He called me a few weeks ago, drunk though. And told me he wanted me back and this and that. And me being my stupid self, I believed him. He didn't talk to me after that call. I saw him at the mall two weeks later, went up to him and asked why he been ignoring me. And the whole time, he was looking away. I texted him two nights ago, with an update, saying I'm 7 months now. And his response, "In two months, I'm gonna be a dad" No my dear, In two months your not. You haven't deserved that name yet. And I don't think you ever will. I have no one else to talk to about this, as to why I created a blog. But I'm just talking. I'm still doing this by myself. And I have a feeling I'm going to for the rest of my life. No guy wants a girl who has a kid. And I don't want people to pitty me or feel sorry for me. I just want people to understand what single moms go through and how hard it really is.